Thursday, July 14, 2011

Signs of Singlesness

Before you start reading this, I want you to go to open a new tab, go to youtube, and turn on "Haven't Met You Yet" by Michael Buble'. Now you may continue.

Lately it feels like everyone else is announcing courtships, new relationships, and engagements. And here I am... single. That lovely little two-syllable word that brings mixed emotions to those stuck in the middle of it all. Don't get me wrong - being single is awesome! So I thought, "Why not find some humor in it? We'll all laugh at this someday, why not now?" So here is a list of the awesome, crazy things that young ladies who just happen to be single probably do:

1. Why did you have to tell me to turn on Michael Buble'? I have all of his music on the iPod, and it's turned up to the loudest that the speakers can get.

2. The cat is VERY important. You're reading the latest, greatest romance novel; you just finished the last chapter. You're bawling, "I can't believe it!!! Why did he have to die?! They were perfect for each other, and that JERK of a fool had to... had to... to... WAAAAA!!!!!" Your precious kitty will now saunter up to you with the sweetest "Meow" "Aah! Hi Kitty! Purr... All is better.

3. Who can sit still while listening to Michael Buble' is playing? I bet your'e dancing around the kitchen with yoruself and your dark, handsome, perfect Mr. Wonderful who is in your head. Now, I ask you: What is scarier? Walking into a room while she's dancing with her imaginary beau or with Mr. Fluffy Face?

4. Spontenaity! Keep everyone on their toes! Because we all know how much time and work relationships require. You're free girl! Go running in that field of daisies while singing Michael Buble' at the top of your lungs.

5. Friday night and nothing to do? I've got a solution for you! Chick flicks and chocolate. I think I just gained 5 lbs. from thinking about chocolate...

6. The hope chest? It's stuffed to the brim. You're stll panting after wrestiling your lastest creation into it.

7. You and your girlfriends stay up 'til 4 AM watching a riveting romantic drama while eating cheese, crackers, apples, peanut butter, strawberries, chocolate fondue, and fresh brownies. What? Thought girls were obsessed with watching their weight? None of us had eaten dinner, and we had just danced for 2 1/2 hours. No that wasn't in the kitchen.

8. When we think get-togethers, we think tea parties. With fancy food. Oh, don't worry. We'll take a stroll around the lake to attempt to burn off the calories.

9. You have how many pairs of dancing shoes?! I guess Mr. Fluffy Face is a swell dancer, or you listen to too much Michael Buble'.

10. See those binders on the shelf? Those are wedding ideas volumes 1, 2, and 3.

Disclaimer - Am I victim to these symptoms of single-ness? Well... let's just say I'm not confessing to all of the above.

Disclaimer II - And the romantic novels? Especially the modern ones? Put that away, girl. It's chewing gum for the brain and worse than artificial sweeteners for you. Go take a walk. Better yet, listen to Michael Buble' while you're at it.

Disclaimer III - All the references to Michael Buble'? I just empties the local library's collection of his CDs. Yes, I've already listened to them all. I don't have an iPod. I didn't steal the music. I'm no pirate.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for the laugh, that was the greatest! :)

    ReplyDelete